tattoos dont come off in the shower

so my pseudo internet superstar sis once came up one day with a funny idea for a tattoo. it involved the wicked tim burton movie pee wee's big adventure. she got a sicky tramp stamp when she was like 17 in salem, nh and then she covered it with a big black heart that looks like a 3rd grader colored over it with a washable crayola marker. so in case u weren't alive circa 84-89 um or were too bust watchin conan the destroyer wishin u werent the governator then u will understand how dumbly rad my new inks is. whammy i dont have a digi cam or a web cam but this new lil guy (my tat) has his bike and the scroll "there's no basement in the alamo." i still wonder if the alamo has a basement. i may never find out....... there's no alamo in denver. dang i dont even know if they have basements in denver.

you thought your girlfriend was illiterate

dear telegram (me telegram sam)
I'm sorry i always leave . i'm especially sorry for leavin this mornin, its just that i'm so afraid of what i said. so afraid its true. on loads of substances, lowdown, rightside up, upside down, in the light of sobriety...... i meant it.
i keep askin myself why this is such a bad thing. after all im pretty sure im not the only being in the universe who cant keep a responsible leash on my emotions, i've decided its not bad only scary. Its like waiting in line for a really long time to ride a big roller coaster.
the better part of me knows that more than likely it'll be worth every second i spent in line behind the asshole family from texas, but then the fear creeps in and my heart starts pounding and my hands start shaking as i think about the cars falling off the track or getting stuck upside down or ending up sitting next to some kid who pukes up their cotton candy all over me.
sam, i dont want to be the girl who changes her mind and wimps out when its my turn to ride.

...........the only thing she got right was my name

she's alot prettier than the way she writes

WET BOYZ big ups

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my boyfriend is gettin outta jail today

ya so my best galpal's dudeski is gettin outta the pen today. the thingy is she thought there was weird sketchy bags of who knows what stuck in her vents. so notso handy man sam (me) gets called over. so i have to go through a toolbox.ummmmso this guy has to go rifle through tools pretendin im the go to guy. i rip my shirt off grab a coldie and start puttin back the vent she used to store yip in. meanwhile shirtless guy (me) trying to fish a fallin bag of colombian cold for my crazy ass friend gets informed comcast bud is on the way. me and comcast dude bro'd down over usin tools and put the vent back in.

moral of the story dont let your friend do meth and be nice to the comcast guy

tattoos never say goodbye

so my pseudo internet superstar sis once came up one day with a funny idea for a tattoo. it involved the wicked tim burton movie pee wee's big adventure. she got a sicky tramp stamp when she was like 17 in salem, nh and then she covered it with a big black heart that looks like a 3rd grader colored over it with a washable crayola marker. so in case u weren't alive circa 84-89 um or were too bust watchin conan the destroyer wishin u werent the governator then u will understand how dumbly rad my new inks is. whammy i dont have a digi cam or a web cam but this new lil guy (my tat) has his bike and the scroll "there's no basement in the alamo." i still wonder if the alamo has a basement. i may never find out....... there's no alamo in denver. dang i dont even know if they have basements in denver.